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Note that declaring someone your ally doesn't necessarily mean that you trust them or even that you intend to work with them. All it does is disable the above automatic systems against that player, until you declare them no longer an ally.
The other player will not be told that you have declared them your ally. Note that there's no reason to assume that the other player has also declared you an ally!
If you are playing the game using the RSW Client, the default behavior is for the client to manage both ally and loader settings according to your team assignments. If you define a team that includes yourself, any players you also assign to the team will be declared as both allies and loaders. Removing a player from your team will undeclare that player as an ally and loader.
If you prefer to manage allies and loaders explicitly, you can turn off this default behavior of the client in the Teams panel. This will give you more control over declaring allies and loaders, but you will have to remember to do it yourself.
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